Thursday, August 30, 2012

Oh! How I Love to Tease!

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My family has always loved to joke and tease each other, and oh the fun we do have!  It seems that no matter the subject, my family can always find something to laugh about.  The subject of boys, however, was rarely ever a matter that any jokes were made about.  The occasional joke would pass once in awhile between my sister and I, but for the most part, it was not really a subject that was discussed in our home.  Both my parents had made terrible mistakes when they were younger and they wanted so much to save their daughters from the terrible heartache that they themselves had experienced.  And so, in a house of two daughters, the “B” word was a very serious subject and not one to be taken lightly.  

In my late teens, I made some very good friends who I enjoyed immensely.  They were wonderful examples to me in many ways and greatly brightened my life, however, there was one very bad habit that I picked up from them - teasing other girls about boys.
Of course, I had been around this kind of teasing before.  I believe it’s quite impossible to make it to almost any age without such teasing coming up in some form, but this, however, was just a more concentrated form of teasing than I had really been around before. (And much more fun!)  I remember a stack of us girls stretched out on a bed, teasing each other about different boys.  It seemed so fun, so absolutely harmless and even innocent.

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     At home, I began to tease my sister, and she too discovered it to be fun and tossed a bit of teasing back at me.  The teasing grew steadily worse between the two of us until neither of us could mention a boy without the other saying, “Ohh la la!” or making some other comment.  And it was fun, very fun, but something began to bother each of us down deep in our hearts and a discontented feeling grew stronger with each comment made.  

     If you have created a mental image that my sister and I were perfect angels on this subject, you can just erase that thought because, we certainly were not!  We were, however, raised to be very careful in this area of our lives, and for that I am ever grateful!  We had each struggled with different issues and discontentment at times but it was nothing compared to the feelings of discontentment that were fed by the continual teasing of one another on this subject.  What had seemed like innocent, harmless fun had turned into something that made each of us feel as though we would never be able to survive unless prince charming came into our life - and very soon!

The two years that my sister and I spent in continual teasing of each other turned out to be the two most discontented years of my life.  I was extremely frustrated that the right guy had not yet come along and that was nearly all that my dreams and focus for my life had turned into. 

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Since my sister and I made the choice to stop teasing each other so continually on this subject, I have been able to focus more clearly and not feel like a frantic, discontent single.  Of course, I someday would like to meet the right man for my life, but more than that, I want him to be the one that the Lord chooses for me. Without the teasing, I am able to more clearly focus and look ahead, where as before I may have chosen a relationship that would not have been the Lord‘s best for me.  Before I may have been driven more by my feelings and not actually because he was the right man for my life.  I have been able to gain a broader perspective on my life and future and have been able to gain a more clear direction for my life - with or without marriage in the picture.  In the past three or so years, since we chose to cease such teasing, I have watched many friends choose relationships based on their feelings and that were against the strong moral values that they had once held so strongly to. Relationships that have only taken them farther away from the Lord instead of bringing them closer to Him.  Discontented and driven blindly by their feelings without being able to see the whole picture clearly.

Simple. Fun. Harmless. Innocent……. Or is it?  

~ Missy

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