Thursday, March 31, 2011

Duct Tape Dating

Duct Tape Dating

Posted by Missy on March 18th, 2011

          In late 2007, while preparing to speak at a girl‘s purity conference, I was sitting in my room with two subjects on my mind - Relationships and duct tape.   I don’t know if it was something I ate or just another one of my weird, random moments, but, suddenly I had a strange notion come into my head...  What would happen if
I was to run around with a big piece of duct tape, stick it to a guy’s arm and then rip it off again!?!  Well for one thing, he would probably beat me up, but besides that - I would have actually hurt that guy.  (Big and tough as they are - that HURTS!!!)  On top of that, now my big, nice, sticky piece of duct tape has a bunch of big arm hairs and lots of nice flaky dead skin cells stuck to it - GROSS!!!

Despite all that, how about I go and do it again… and again… and again….   Each time, not only have I injured others, but my duct tape has become less and less sticky with each round until finally, it will no longer stick to anything.

Now what on earth does this have to do with relationships?!  Well, if you were to do this in real life, you probably would have a lot of angry guys and a nice big hospital bill.  But seriously, let‘s look at it as a funky, modern day parable.

When you were born, God gave you a very precious gift.  He gave you your heart, your purity, your innocence.  This is what the duct tape stands for.  Throughout your life, you begin to stick this gift to things such as personal positions, addictions or - temporary relationships. For example, every time you enter another temporary dating relationship you are giving your heart or - sticking your duct tape to that person.  Every time the relationship ends, the tape is ripped off and it not only brings harm to the other person, but now your gift has become dirty and has lost some of it‘s stickiness.  Eventually, if you continue on this cycle, when you do finally meet the right person and marry them you will have lost a lot of the stickiness that God created to hold you together.

Now, if you don‘t think I‘m a little loopy already, I‘m about to make it obvious.  I decided to go even farther with my experimentation.  To clarify, I did not actually attempt this experiment on real people simply because I didn‘t want a huge hospital bill and it would be just… weird.  Instead, I took a hunk of duct tape and stuck it to several objects around the house.  This gave me the desired result.  

When the duct tape had lost most of its stick, I proceeded to stick together two such pieces of the tape.  After a good deal of smashing, I was able to get the two pieces to stick together pretty well.  I then wrote #1 on the couple.  

Next, I took a piece of tape that had no stick left and a piece of fresh, sticky new tape and stuck them together.  This, I achieved much better then with my first unwilling project.  I wrote #2 on this set.   Third, I stuck two fresh, new pieces of tape together and scribbled #3.

After having completed this task, I took all my tape samples and tossed them into the washing machine with a load of laundry.  If you think I‘m weird, you should have seen my family - they think I‘m nuts!

When the load had finished it‘s loop-de-loops, I pulled out my precious tape to see how it had faired.  It was just as I expected.  My #1 set came out separately, no longer together even though I had tried very hard to make them stick.  Then, I pulled out #2 and found that the two pieces were still stuck together.  However, with a very small amount of pulling, I was able to easily part the two.  Finally I came to #3 and this is where I found something I had not expected.  I tried everything to get them apart but it was impossible. Of course I knew that they would still be stuck together but the two had literally become “One“ piece of tape. 

Now hopefully you have guessed by now that the washing machine stands for the storms and trials that we face throughout our lives.  Trials either make or break a marriage and sadly most of the time, it‘s the latter.

This subject may seem a bit “sticky” but nevertheless it is important and shouldn’t be taken lightly.  In truth, it is my belief that the typical dating cycle in America is simply practice for divorce.  The divorce statistics only help to confirm this and, sadly, Christians are far from being exempt from it.

But how will you ever meet the right person if you don’t date?!  The first big step is - Trust.  Trust in God.  I believe that if you will give Him control in this area of your life - He will honor it.  Second, be a friend!  It’s been proven that you will get to know who a person “really is” better while being just friends then you ever will while dating.   

In all honestly, I would say that everyone - including myself, has in some way managed to get junk stuck to their tape.  You can pull out the tweezers and pluck away trying to remove it yourself but it will never be the same again.  On your own, complete restoration is impossible. But - With God all things are possible.  If you will give Him this area of your life - He can completely restore it and bless it even if there is no stick left.